I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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