I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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