Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Enjoy the penises
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