Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
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