My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize