what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
