yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
