What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
