i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
