Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize