Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
