if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
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I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
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I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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