I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Randomize