What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
It's official drugs can't kill me
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
