Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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