i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Randomize
