He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
