everyone is single if you try hard enough
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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