i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Randomize
