my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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