my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize