Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
