Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
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The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
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Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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