In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Randomize
