Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
