I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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