Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
