i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
