I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
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