so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
