Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
