Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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