He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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