Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
