Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize