then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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