i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
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Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
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he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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