Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
