I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
