Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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