Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
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