Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
