I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
