you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
