Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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