Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
How does one acquire holy water?
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
