the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
