I bet he comes in French.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
