I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Randomize
