hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Randomize