ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
