So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
