i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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