i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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