my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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