I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
