Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
