Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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