even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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